Etiquette For Religious Wedding Ceremonies

Many couples will choose to have their wedding ceremony in a religious setting. Whatever your faith, there are certain things which may be different about a wedding in a house of worship, both for the bride and groom and their guests. This guide to etiquette for religious wedding ceremonies will ensure that everything goes smoothly on the special day.

These days it is very common for people to have friends and even family members who are of a different religion (or possibly who follow no religion at all). It is also far more common than it used to be for the bride and groom to come from different faiths. All of this diversity can lead to some confusion on the part of the guests. It is up to the bride and groom to make sure that their guests have an understanding of what is happening, and it also falls upon the witnesses at the wedding ceremony to know how to act and what to do in a church (or synagogue or mosque) wedding.

Some people would say that if the bride and groom have a large number of guests who are not members of their religion then they should have a secular or at least a non-denominational marriage service. While it is generally appropriate for the couple to take their guests' comfort into account, it is truly not fair to deny a bride and groom the opportunity to have their union blessed (or in the case of Catholics, to receive the holy sacrament of marriage). This is one of the few parts of the wedding where the couple really does have the right to put their own beliefs and wishes first; that is not to say, however, that they should not attempt to do so in a thoughtful manner.

A very simple thing which the bride and groom can do from the start is to give guests a hint about what is to come with their wedding invitations. The name of the house of worship being listed as the ceremony site should make it obvious to anyone that the ceremony will be religious in nature, of course, but there is more than can be done. It is particularly important that Roman Catholics specify that guests are invited to a Nuptial Mass, if they have opted to have a full Mass with Communion. The Nuptial Mass by its nature is one of the longer wedding ceremonies, and guests appreciate having a sense of what to expect.

When a wedding ceremony is religious in nature, it may include rituals which are unfamiliar to some of the guests. This is when a wedding program can come in really handy for so much more than listing the names of the bridesmaids or thanking your aunt for loaning the bride her pearl wedding jewelry as the "something borrowed". If a couple will be having a Jewish service for instance, it would be very nice to include brief explanations of some of the customs, such as the chuppah, so that people of other faiths can follow along and also so they can have a greater appreciation for the significance of any special rituals. It can also be considerate to include a notation such as, "We invite all those who have been baptized to join in the Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist" or something to that effect at a Catholic ceremony. That helps guests know what to do; for instance in this case, it would be a polite way of letting non-Christians realize that they should remain seated during Communion.

Wedding guests have a few responsibilities of their own at a religious wedding. Chief among them is to show respect, whether they share the bride and groom's faith or not. This means dressing appropriately in demure clothing with classic accessories like pearl wedding jewelry, rather than showing up in something risque or flashy. When a guest is unfamiliar with the rituals of a particular religion, they should simply do their best to follow along: stand when others stand, sit when they sit, and so forth. Guests should not take part in any religious customs which are reserved for members of a religion to which they do not belong. And last, but not least, wedding guests should refrain from obviously checking their watches to see "how much longer this thing can possibly drag on", even if it is a full Nuptial Mass! With these pointers in mind, the wedding ceremony should be every bit as meaningful and blessed as the bride and groom intended.

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Tips for Religious Wedding Ceremonies

Wedding ceremonies which take place in a church, synagogue, or other house of worship can be especially meaningful. There are some things which the bride and groom can do to make their ceremony as special as possible, while also making it meaningful for their guests. These are some tips for religious wedding ceremonies.

Tip No. 1: Ask a dear family member to do a ceremony reading. The support your family and friends can give you for your wedding goes beyond shopping for wedding gowns, bridal jewelry sets, and wedding favors. To really make your ceremony more personal, invite someone you love to do a reading, rather than relying on your minister or officiant to do all the readings. Some churches have set lists of Bible readings from which the bride and groom can choose (usually one from the Old Testament and one from the New Testament); take the time to carefully consider all the available readings to select the ones which are the most relevant to your relationship with your soon-to-be-spouse.

Tip No. 2: Include family heirlooms in your wedding ceremony whenever possible. Borrow a family quilt or prayer shawl to cover the chuppah for a Jewish marriage ceremony. Carry a small family Bible or white prayer book decorated with a spray of flowers instead of a bouquet. Some brides have the florist add a few pearls or crystals to the floral spray to complement their bridal jewelry sets. You might opt to include the same Biblical readings in your wedding as your parents or grandparents had int theirs. If you are having a wedding program, include a note about the special family heirlooms or customs you have chosen for your ceremony so that your guests can appreciate them as well.

Tip No. 3: Use your wedding program to share information about your religious customs to your guests. Especially if you will have guests from a variety of faiths, this can add tremendously to their comprehension of the ceremony as it unfolds. Include notes about the reasons behind Jewish customs like the chuppah, or explain the crowning ceremony of a Greek Orthodox wedding. The program can also include information about what to do during parts of the ceremony, such as: "During the Nuptial Mass, Catholic guests are welcome to join in the Eucharist. All other guests are invited to come forward with their arms crossed over their chests to receive a blessing."

Tip No. 4: Take advantage of any pre-wedding preparation courses that your church or synagogue may offer. In some cases, such as Catholic wedding preparation, there is a set course of required classes. Other churches may not require classes, but might offer things such as weekend retreats for engaged couples. They not only provide guidance on how to live your married life according to your faith, but help to lay the foundation for a successful marriage by fostering open communication about all sorts of relationship issues.

Tip No. 5: Be respectful of your setting. If you chose to get married in a house of worship, be certain to take the necessary steps to show respect and honor to your church. The bride should select a wedding gown which meets the guidelines of her church or synagogue (whether they are official or merely implied). If you have the option of selecting whatever music you like, choose something tasteful for your recessional, avoiding songs with any "questionable" lyrics. While most houses of worship do not charge a set fee for use of their facilities, it is customary to offer a donation. Last but not least, remember that one should never hold a receiving line inside a house of worship, because one cannot play host in God's house. Have your receiving line outside the church or at your reception venue.

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